Merdeka

hari ini genap 52 tahun Malaysia menikmati kemerdekaan..aku amat bangga berada di bumi Malaysia..tapi, walau negara dah merdeka dari jajahan negara luar, sedar atau tidak, rakyatnya masih dijajah.

ini termasuk dengan mereka yang sebaya dengan aku.

bila la kita betul-betul nak memerdekakan diri kita?

Reminiscence ...

(pic taken in 2008..@TS..with the other 'beta house familia')

he's sweet as candy
heart is soft and lite as cotton ball...huehue..
smiles are always on his face..
dunno whether anyone can ever replace..
a friend that's true..
im happy whenever im with you..
cheer me up when im in blue..
try to be there when you need me too..


forever friends..
insya'allah..till the end..

Registration semester sept/09

sesi bermanje merpati sejoli..suriah and philip...hihihihi

* kami memang gile glam..gile cam..hihi...kat bus stop depan kolej pon jadi la nak menggedik...

sem nih kene berusaha betul2..xbuleh men2...adoi..insya'allah diz will be my last sem kt klmu...

Salam ramadhan..

Final exam 08/2009

adoi, gonna have two papers tomorrow; Islamic stdy and Entrepreneur stdy. But tonite, till this very hour, still haven't start anything, on my so-called-revision nite..

tense gile
sakit hati
sakit otak
messed up!!!

Trust..Betrayal..Hatred..hipokrit..etc..

I've just found out some things and issues that i've never know in this whole week. Some of it dah pon jadi sejarah, but still after knowing the truth bout it, it pissed me off..!!!

Damn, the people that i thought i can trust the most, that sincere being friends with are damn fake, even the ones who teaching me, i the college. (i'll keep it to myself who am i referring to...)

One will tell me that im the closest friend he have(now im the closest friend he once had..) one will tell me that she loves me like a sister..tons of them will tell me that they are sincere being friends with me and accept me the way i am.
But the real thing is, im one of the girls that close to him..i am one of the students which she/he hate the most in the college, and they actually never accept me for who i really am..damn..!!! They keep on judging me. They keep on saying things like im some kind of girl that dont have self-respect (just because there's no hijab on my head..), they saying that im too flirtacious, miang, gatal, syok sendiri (coz im close to guys..etc) im ruining the other girl relationship coz im close to him, they said that i hate the girls that close to him..and many more. Why people saying things, bad things bout me that relates to guys, and that guy??????

adoi..cannot understand laaaaaa..people whom i call as friends nowadays, cannot be trusted anymore la..only some of it can be trusted. Other than that are backstabber, deepshit gile..

suit urself la, just say whatever u guys wanted too..i juzt cant be bothered la with all ur words.i av my close friends and family who truly loves me 4 who i really am..so losing people like u guys wont affect me u know. just carry on being such loser, coz i know only loser will backstabb their own friends, etc.

p/s: little do they know, i am one good actress..once they treat me like im some kind of shit, i'll treat them 10 times worst than what they did to me.just wait and see. now, my heart only filled with hatred for those people wo acting like they were angels sent from above, padahal perangai and hati masing2 macam setan.

Cinta

Bertanya sendiri pada hati
mengapa wujud rasa ini
kadang..
hilai tawa memenuhi dunia
kadang pula..
tangisan jernih pengubat duka jiwa

bertanya lagi pada hati
bagaimana wujud perasaan ini
sedang ia datang tanpa dipinta
sedang ia pergi tanpa berita

bertanya lagi pada hati
apakah maksud sebenar perasaan ini
hati berdebar ketika bersama
sayu apabila tiada di depan mata
rindu bila tiada senyumannya
kelu berbicara dengannya

bertanya lagi pada hati
apakah mungkin dia juga punya perasaan ini
apakah dia memahami makna perasaan ini

bertanya pula pada diri
apakah pengakhiran cerita ini
adakah gembira seperti di impikan?
atau ditinggal di tengah jalan?
akan sesatkah diri dalam mencari kebahagiaan?

akhirnya terpaksa memujuk diri
terpaksa menyedapkan hati
bahawa cinta tak semua suci
tak semua yang diharap menjadi realiti
kebahagiaan dicari pasti disulami 1001 dugaan
dugaan yang akhirnya akan menjadi kekuatan

yang pasti
harus sabar dan tabah menjalani
menunggu dan berdoa pada illahi
agar dikurniakan kebahagiaan yang dicari
dijauhkan dari perkara yang menyakiti
dan moga kebahagiaan
mahupun kekecewaan
tidak sesekali melalaikan diri
dari cinta yang paling suci
CINTA PADA ILLAHI

new me..

This is the new me. Some of the people around me might hate it, some might say okay, and might even say bad things and brag bout it later on. But it doesnt matter for me anymore. People can think, say and judge me as long as their happy and wont intrude my personal life, my privacy.
I like the way i am now, if others hate it, lantak kamu la. I wont die because of your hatred taw.

A lot of things had happened.
~ Dont av the guts to trust people around me anymore, even if they said they're my best buddies or what so ever, and even my own so-called-BF. They had betrayed my trust, they take me for granted, never have the effort and courtesy to appreciate me. I know, i might not be the world's greatest GF and best friends, but atleast i tried my very best, i give everything i have in order to make this relationship last. But little do i know, they dont even noticed everything that i had done.

So the best solution is, dumping them la kot!! Get rid of all the people yang jadi racun in my life, buat house-keeping, throwing all the 'rubbish' and the things that are not in need/ not useful to me anymore.

~have to keep on reminding myself, about the kesusahan, kepayahan hidup family so i wont get to excited with life, tak hanyut dibuai kesenangan dan keseronokan duniawi, tak lupa asal usul diri. Dan hopefully akan buat aku lebih menghargai hidup dan family.

~I've got to look for a part time job, or i will be insane..seriously.


~ramadhan..final exams is just around the corner, have to prepare myself..study..study..study..and try to be more pemaaf..huehue..

miss'em!!