outing: mdm raihani's place @ dengkil...

nih la baby mdm raihani...somel kan???hihihi...ade tokoh jd mummy x????

Girls day out: FRIM

semalam me and liza tito umah aina...konon2 sgt la penat sesampai je kt umah aina tuh...and nk tros tto tnpe makan...waakakakak...sekali afta msok lam selimut, sekor2 ngadu lapau...so we all dengan diketuai oleh tuan umah (aina) g le dapur wat scramble eggs...then konon2 nk tto..skali dok borak2...smpai la kol bpe tah..sampai mata pon xlarat nk diangkat...
pepagi we all bgn dgn sgt semangat yang amat membara utk pergi mandi mande di FRIM...skali pas dh salin bj..tgk2 kt tgkap..ujan la plak...adesss...so we all tukaw plan..g tolong mama aina masak...(pdhal aina je yg masak..wakakakak...)
afta bekpes...mee hoon gureng...we all pon gerak la ke FRIM...agk2 lam 1/2 jam jalan kaki we all sampai la kt tempat air terjun tuh...mmg best la sbb dpt redakan hati yg panas and saket dgn mandi air terjun yg sojuk...then tbe2 guruh and langit golap lak...we all pon kunun nk gerak balik..skali ujan lebat lak..adess...smpai ranting pokok sume beterbangan..adesss...seb bek we all sume cumel..if x mesti dh melayang dek angin...hihihi...so amat la best..bukan takat mandi sungai...mandi ujan skali...huhuhu...

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its been a week since my new semester started..one of the subjects that im taking this semester is Islamic Studies..the lecturer's that teaching me is friendly, and makes the subject more interesting for me to learn..actually, i have been learning the same thing over and over again since im 9 years old..till now, the topics that we have to study is still the same..and for those who know bout this, they will have the impression of me knowing everything (coz i learn it and was supposed to practising it everyday of my life..).

but to be honest, im not that good and i didnt do almost all of what i had been learn..its a total shamed...what can i say is, people can say they're muslims and etc..but its sad that most of their actions shows that they're NOT!!

hurm..itu terpulang pada individu untuk fikirkan...

when the lecturer asked if anyone of us know how to recite Al-Qariah, only 2-3 people say yes..as for me and the others, we only manage to remember the 1st 3-4 verse of it..i even cant remember all of asma al husna (99 names of Allah swt..)


ya tuhan..betapa hinanya aku rasa..
aku hambaMU..aku umat Muhammad s.a.w...aku dengan bangga mengaku diri ku islam..tapi, kitab mu amat jarang ku pegang, apatah lagi membaca dan menghafaz surah2..ayat2 suci MU..
aku mengaku diri ku islam..tapi aku jarang bersujud di sejadah..apatah lagi menadah tangan memohon keampunan serta berdoa kepadaMU...
andai punya masalah, tiada ketenangan hati, baru aku mencari tuhan..tapi dikala aku gembira dengan dunia, aku lupakan tuhan...
ya tuhan...
baru sekarang aku sedar...aku masih punya waktu dan peluang untuk berubah..mendekatkan diri padaMU..bertaubat padaMU...
ya tuhan yang maha mengetahui...
aku telah lakukan banyak kesilapan..perkara2 yang mendekatkan diri aku dengan dosa2 besar...sesungguhnya, aku alpa, terlupa dengan keseronokan duniawi..
aku terlalu mengejar nikmat dunia..hingga aku melakukan perkara2 yang dilarang oleh tuhan ku...
aku bongkak, takbur dengan kebodohan diri...aku lupa tanggungjawab ku senagai hambaMU...

ya tuhan...
aku bersujud padaMU...
aku pohon keampunan MU...
terlalu banyak dosaku...
ya tuhan..
KAU ampuni lah dosa2 ibu bapaku...
dosa2 ku...
saudaraku...
sahabatku...
ya tuhan...
KAU tunjuk kan jalan yang benar...jalan yang KAU redhai...
aku bersujud padaMU..
walau aku tahu aku tidak layak untuk MU..
KAU ampuni ku...
hanya KAU yang mampu tenangkan hati hamba2 MU...

aku ingin bersujud pada tuhan ku yang satu...aku punya 1001 sesalan..aku ingin memohon 1001 keampunan...aku amat tak layak untuk syurga MU...tapi aku juge takot untuk ke nerakaMU..
tapi tuhan...aku mohon keampunan MU...sesungguhnya KAU maha pengasih dan penyayang...KAU maha pengampun...

happy father's day...210609

yesterday, i forgot to wish abah happy father's day...mule2, xde la rase ape2..but afta awhile, afta received berite yang agak menyedihkan, kinda regret coz didnt wish him...but at last wish jugak...

a close friend of mine lost his beloved dad yesterday...his dad passed away at the age of 59..its kinda shock..thinking bout we cud never predict how and when, where we're going to die..

it makes me realized that i shud not take everything in my life for granted..i shud learn to appreciate what i have in this life more than ever...
its making me regreting those days where i didnt say to those people bout how much i love all of them, who loves me...
makes me regrets all the times that i av wasted, that passed by without having my love ones besides me...
makes me regrets all the bad words that i had said before..that had hurt all my love ones so bad..
banyak perkara yang aku sesalkan..tapi apakan daya, aku tak mampu putar kembali masa yg telah berlalu..aku tak mungkin dapat perbetulkan segala kesilapan yang telah aku lakukan...

but now, i think its time for me to start analyzing what are my probs and my options..so i can change..to be a better me..

its for my own sake..my fmly..my love ones..i wanna be the best for them..i wanna giv the bes of me...i dun wanna av any regrets nanti in my life...

1st stop..im gonna treat myself..my family..my other half..my best friends better...
then the rest will be like a baby step for me..im gonna change slowly, not drastically..

most important for me now..ingat dari mana asal usul aku...tuhan dan agama aku...

birthday suprise by akim, aina and gee for me and liza...

hari xde la sgt best (mule2..sbb aku mmg moody tiap kali bday aku..xtaw npe..) gi kelas islamic study...sgt la best ustazah itu..agak nak menitik la airmata dgr sal ibadah..kematian sume...(aku sgt la bnyk dose nyeeeeeeee...adesss..)

then akim ckp ari nih die n aina nk blanje aku n liza karok...wakakaak...melunjak2 gumbira le kami..huhuhu...

smpai je di kotakMerah...masok je bilik...tros jd jakun yek...huhuhu..melalak xhengat dunio...mcm la sore aku nih sodap..but wat2 sodap je la kn..hihii...

then...tbe2....

kua lagu "happy birthday" kt tb...then abg kotakMerah masok dgn kek...huuuuuuuuu...amat terharu ye kowg...nk nanes je mak rasa...tapi xmampu nk nanes..so mak gelak je cm owg gile...hihihi...mekacih bnyk2 r kt kowg bertiga sbb smbt bday aku and liza...u guys are the best..aku ckp cmni bkn sbb kowg wat suprise nih taw..tp sbb kowg mmg kwn baek aku...kwn yg aku anggp atre hadiah Allah SWT pd aku...alhamdulillah....

happy birthday to ~~me~~

lagi beberapa jam, genap la umur aku 22 tahun (sebab aku lahir kol 6 ptg..) ..alhamdulillah, thanks to allah swt aku masih bernyawa di bumiNYA..aku masih bernafas..aku masih berjalan..aku masih berdiri...

22 tahun bukan satu jangka masa yang pendek untuk aku lalui..bermacam dugaan hidop telah aku tempuhi..dan benar kata orang, semua ini menjadikan aku lebih tabah dan matang dalam menghadapi tiap dugaan dan cabaran yg mendatang..dan aku sedar, aku harus kuat, aku harus tabah..untuk keluarga, sahabat handai serta insan2 yang aku sayang..

tuhan, aku bersyukur kerana masih diberi kesempatan untuk memperbaiki segala kekurangan diri..diberi peluang untuk mengenal mu, agama ku, keluarga ku, serta diri ku dan sahabat2 ku..


tah kenapa, tiba2 aku terasa sunyi..sebak sebenarnya sebab entah kali keberapa aku menyambut hari lahir tanpa keluarga tersayang...sedih..sayu...

apa2 pon, terima kasih pada semua yang sudi mengucapkan selamat hari lahir pada aku..thanx guys..

those yang wish aku...

1. fauzan fuady..(my friend from FB who lives in indo)
2. my beloved mama..thnx mama..
3. izaak KLMU
4. my sissy..titen
5. my best buddies..liza
6. hakim..
7. philip kuh..hihihi...xoxo...
8. wan klmu (pnh sekelas dulu..)
9. Abdul khaliq
10. ibrahim klmu
11. aina VOGEH..wakakak...
12. liza's mum
13. awien klmu
14. fareez klmu
15. mr. lutfie..hihi...
16. maisarah klmu
17. kechik
    
18. ayen kuh thayunk...
19. khadijah
20. my sister...
21. faza kuh thayunk..hihi...
22. miss maisarah...
23. and ramai lg lew..u know who u r to me aite..love u guys soooo much..thnx 4 everything...
    

so-called-friends...

aku ada sekumpulan 'so-called-friends' yang aku kira mereka boleh dianugerahkan PELAKON HIPOKRIT TERBAEK ...nak taw cerite??

hidup aku mmg agk susah,parents aku x bekerja wat masa skunk..so paham2 je la kn..masalah2 terutamanya yg berkaitan dgn kewangan mmg sgt teruk melanda r...

so sbb aku anggp they all best friend aku..aku cite la sume masalah aku...aku xpaksa dowg tolong aku sbb aku tahu dowg pon ade masalah memasing..but sbb dowg ckp aku nih mmber..dowg nk tolong aku...snggup r sampai bg pjm wit sume kan..sbb syg aku la..bla..bla..bla..jgn wsaw, kitowg xde nk ungkit2 sume..sbb kite sume dh member sjak skolah..ala2 dh cm adek bradek la konon..

then tibe2 one nite dtg umh aku..maki hamun aku..kutuk2 mak bapak aku..ape masalah ko mamat??? saket otak ape??mmg siol la kan..kurang ajar teramat sgt..aku xkisah kalo kowg xhormat aku..xde hal laaa..!! tapi pikir skit la utk hormat mak apak aku..ko pk sbb kowg dh tolong aku, kowg blh ckp cmtu and aku akn iya kan,diamkan diri??bullshit!!
punce utama, dowg kata sbb aku xberhubung dgn dowg lansong...mmg bongok la..abes yg aku msg, aku call..aku ym..kowg xbalas2 apa hal?? salah aku gak ke kowg xbalas sume tuh?? aku cakap bodoh kang mara..

kowg pk, sbb kowg tolong aku,aku la yg kne terhegeh2 kat kowg..wat mcm2 utk kowg?? weh..!!tolong sket..aku bukan bodoh cm sesetengah owg yg sanggop jadi KULI BATAK konon nye sbb dh bnyk makan budi...aku xkan tunduk pada jantan2 EGO..yg sombong bodoh..yg nk menunjuk2 kuasa lelaki pada perempuan cam aku..ko pikir aku akn merayu kt kowg ke ble kowg buang aku??? weh..!!skit pon xde rse cmtu la..lagi aku muak tgk owg2 yg perangai cmni ade la..tp sbb aku pikir aku ade hutang dgn kowg..aku wat derk je..tunggu sampai aku dapat balik dwet tuh..mmg aku byr kt kowg laaa...aku pon tak terhengen nk pkai dwet kowg klu bkn sal mak apak aku..

ko siap mencarot depan muke aku pastuh nk berlagak bagus dgn aku??? lantak ko laa...konon aku la jahat..aku la wat hal..mmg sial..weh jantan2, ko tunggu je la balasan tuhan..DIA sentiasa tolong hamba2 yg teraniaya..

aku TAK MATI laaa xde owg cm kowg dgn aku..xsangka kawan2 aku boleh pijak aku..apa2 pon..lantak kowg la..sbb kowg xrasa lagi ape aku rasa..aku bukan nk niat jahat, but aku berdoa, aku harap sangat satu hari kowg akn paham apa aku rasa..bile kowg wat cmni kat aku..

TERIMA KASIH BANYAK2 LAAA...

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~~this is my first time writing a poem..huhuhu..dunno whether its ok or not...mmg jiwang abes dh nih..wakakak...

your words of goodbye..
lingers in my mind..
how should i believe
i am no longer in your heart and mind..

i was the only love in your life..
that was what u had told me..
and im hoping that i'll always be...
coz you are the one and only for me..

now you're here..
right in front of me..
saying how much you hate me..
but how can i endure..
and i cant bear it anymore..

im calling out your name..
hoping that i can see u again..
my heart cries out for your love..
but will i ever find you..?
can i get you back in my heart again?

i cant live without you in my life..
i wanna erase you from my eyes..
from my sight...
no matter how hard i cry..
no matter how much im hurt..
this love can never be erase..
this love can never be replace..

no matter what i said..
i have to get used to the fact that your gone..
i have to deal with the goodbye you'd gave..
even it means that im gonna lose you forever...

my so-called-best-budd..AKAR

dunno why...i can be sooo close with this guy...ahaha...
i've known him since the first week of my 1st semester in KLMU..i was standing in front of Understanding Economic class (0301 if im not mistaken..)..i was all alone...in my own world...as im really new to KLMU at that moment...
then i felt like someone's wacthin me...i looked around and there he was..standing with the rest of the group..Liza,Suriah,Vicky and Philip..he looked at me like im some kind of aliens etc...(gosh!! i still can remember it... soooo clear ..huhu..) he kept on smiling like a kerang busooook....(yup..u r dear..no joke...ahahah..) but he never come up to me or say hi etc...and what happen next is...WE'RE IN DA SAME CLASS!!!
he u sed to sit in front, at the first table next to the door...and i will be sittin awayyyyyyyyyyyy from him that is a few tables away..

then afta i got my LabCard, i went to the library..to use the computer..next to me was liza/suriah...and he was standing behind me...but we didnt talk even a word...even hi...

then...on 26th of september 2007 (if im not mistaken..hihi..) he sent me a message through Friendster..and what happen next is..well, u guys can guess it rite..huhuuhu...at first, we was juz messaging by friendster..afta a few days, he gave me his number and he asked for mine..i dunno what has got in to me..i called him right away...huhuhu...sgt gelojoh je...malu siot!!! i was in the library..infront of the PC and he was lepaking with his group..then i called him and we went outside..chit chat like we have known each other for EVER!!!...seems like we have the chemistry...and the conversation ended with a great feelin..

now..its been nearly 2 years of our so-called-friendship..i love him...i like him...and HE HAS A GF ok...and his GF is NOT ME..... so dun put any hopes on seeing us together as more than friends...it wont happen babeh!!!huhuhu..i think we're better off as friend...he's a great guy..and thanked god i've got him as my best buddy...love u dear monkeyh!!!!

WE'RE BESTIES 4EVA!!!!

happy birthday~ teman terulung...

4th june 2009...his 22nd birthday...and its my 2nd year that i didnt celebrate it with him..even as friends...deep in my heart..i do miss him...so much...but he's not more than a friend...aite??

i used to call him my babybear..some of my close friends back in legenda called him 'abg jambu'...huhuh...

btw..i really missed u...i wish u av a great bday with ur family,GF and ur friends...

The good old days....

Md Noor Yusof and Kamariah Abu Bakar..My beloved abah and mama...they are my soul..my life...without them, i wont be born to this world...and for surely i wont be the Umaira i am now...
thanx mama abah coz always be there for me...love u both dem much!!!

Noor Fathyia and Syaiful Redzwan...my big sis n big bro...they too had taught me sooo much bout life...they too are my belahan jiwa...

my youngest bro...Aliff Najmi and Mohd Azril

this is me with tok nek...a looooooooooong time ago...in Sg Acheh, Nibong Tebal, Penang...eventhou she loves to nagged at me all the time..but once she left, i missed her so much...semoga rohnye dicucuri rahmat...~al-fatihah~

they are my cutest nephews and niece ever...Farish Mirza..Farhan Mirza and Farisya Farhan....

LOVE~complicated

LOVE is a very simple thing- generally. but often we heard that people said it is soooooo much complicated then any other matters/ issues in our lives. we keep on nagging on hot it has made our life up side down etc. bt we never even realize for a sec that WE are the one that made love so complicated and hard to understand/ hard to handle.
people around the world each have their own point of view on LOVE. and it is true that everyone have their own love ones and their own way on showing their feelings towards their love ones.from GOD to parents..relatives and friends..special someone etc..everyone have the rights to love and be in love..

but in my case..im not quite sure whether im the one who made this thing complicated or the other party..
i never ask anyone (guys) to love me..like me etc..bt there's a guy who have the courage to step up to me and told me that he likes me more than friends...(i respected him for his courage..)and from day one, i told him that i cud never be with him coz i only take him as my friend- not more nor less...i do like him bt as a friend..never came accross my mind that he will keep on asking me bout my feelings towards him..
i thought we have clear things up..and we cud move on, continuing our friendship..but then again, he seems like cud not accept my decision..and he keep on asking why i cant accept him..why i dun av any feeling towards him etc...
its realy damn tiring...akward...annoying...and i know i'll end up hurting someone...which is HIM...but i dunno what else shud i say..that will make him understand and give up..and truly accept my decision..

im happy just the way i am now..i admit that i do felt a bit lonely now and then...but its not a big deal..i stil av my family and friends..IM NOT ALONE...for now,i wanna live my life for my fmly...not 4 a guy..im not ready to give away my heart again coz my heart already taken by someone else from my past...i dont care if he dont want me nemore...but i like him...plz respect my feelings...my rights...

to the guy...im really sorry..sometimes i feels like u r pushing me to the wall with a gun pointed at my head..i cant stand being treated like that..ur a nice guy..but i dont av any feelings like u av for me..im sorry..im here to offer u a friendship..my heart belongs to someone else...

littlest things of me and babybear

Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing
Especially when I have to watch other people kissing
And I remember when you started callin' me your Mrs
All the play fighting, all the flirtatious disses
I tell you sad stories about my childhood
I don't know why I trusted you but I knew that I could
We'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt
I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt

Dreams, dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
'n it seems, it seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know it's not right, but it seems unfair
That things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend
So come on, tell me, is this the end?

Drinkin' tea in bed
Watching DVDs
When I discovered all your dirty grotty magazines
You take me out shopping and all we'd buy is trainers
As if we ever needed anything to entertain us
The first time that you introduced me to your friends
And you could tell that I was nervous so you held my hand
When I was feeling down, you made that face you do
There's no one in the world who could replace you


**all of sudden..the thought of my past relationships keeps on wandering in my head...i miss him so much..wish i had never leave him in the first place..seriously i miss u soo much babybear..

If i ask you to leave me...

if i ask you to leave me
how long will it take for you to forget me?

would you consider those months we spent,
or hours we held hands?
would you send me an I LOVE YOU note through the fax,
or you’d just ask for all your things back?
would you try harder to keep me with you
or ensure that i’m gone before i can say how much i miss you?

would you just simply delete me from facebook/friendster/myspace/twitter/tagged etc,
or take out my number from your phonebook?
would you cry all night thinking what was wrong,
or laugh because you think the relationship was already too long?
would you go seeking for the ex’s shoulder,
or fill my bedroom with bouquets of roses in lavender?

would you call once in awhile to make sure i wont go wild,
or would you forget who i was, the one you used to call YOURS?
would you come and visit when i’m ill,
or pretend you’re too broke to buy me a meal?
would you annoy me by telling people i’m still in love with you,
or admit that you still love me too?

would you still wish me on my birthday,
or go missing for a week on a romantic getaway?
would you still love me dear,
would you still love me for who i am today?

p/s: got from a friend from facebook...